10 Traits of the BJJ Hipster

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If you live and train in a major urban area, there is a good chance you have come across this guy. This guy is a smart and worldly individual that wants you to know just how smart, worldly, and unique he is in both life on and off the mats. Generally a nice guy and a character, but definitely has a way of standing out on the mats. Here are 10 traits you are training with a BJJ Hipster.

Been to real Brazil, not the Tourist Traps: the BJJ hipster has been to the real  Brazil, not the Brazil that tourists visit. The hipster will tell you Rio isn’t the real Brazil and he will then go on and on about his extensive travels to small towns and training with Brazilian names you never heard of while speaking in a Brazilian/Portuguese accent where he pronounces ever “r” as an “h” despite the fact he was born and raised in Portland, Oregon.

Acai Snob: While you and your training partners really excited about the new acai bowl shop that opened up in town, the BJJ Hipster will frown upon such commercial businesses. He will give a laundry list of why their acai is inferior to the acai he had during his travels in the real Brazil. He will likely tell you a simple recipe on how you can make your own acai that is really long winded, complex, with most of the ingredients only available in the real Brazil.

Facial Hair: the BJJ Hipster will obviously sport a beard or handle bar mustache that is well groomed, but meant to looked disheveled and effortless. To top off the look, the hipster will also have long hair placed into a man bun that will come undone within 2 minutes of training to show how hard he is working on the mats.

man bun

Wears Wrestling Head Gear: The wrestling head gear helps to keep the man bun in place. Protecting the BJJ Hipster’s ears from cauliflowering is just a bonus.

Wears Flamyboyent Rash Guards: A basic, traditional ranked rash guard design won’t be sufficient for the BJJ Hipster. It will be too conventional and will prevent him from standing out on the mats. While the BJJ Hipster claims to be humble and ego free, he really wants the attention of the whole room by wearing a loud and flamboyent rashguard as a form of self-expression.

rash guard

Wears Spats With No Shorts Over It:  While many men will be modest and wear board shorts over their spats, the BJJ Hipster will just wear the spats in homage to Shinya Aoki. The BJJ Hipster is used to doing yoga in skin tight yoga pants and doesn’t want to be confined in any way, shape, or form.

aoki

Does Yoga Stretches on the Mats Before and After Mats Sometimes Without Shirt On: While many BJJ students will do a hurdler stretch and struggle to get the tips of their fingers to touch their ankles, the BJJ hipster will be on the ends of the mat effortless twisting into a pretzel shape while perfectly maintaining his balance. If he has a low bad fat percentage, he will likely be shirtless to show off his abs and his collection of Buddhist and Hindu tattoos just to let you know how he is spiritually one with the universe.

The Upper Belt Hipster Will Kick Your ***: Rolling with a BJJ hipster is like the BJJ version of Prince playing Charlie Murphy in basketball. After all, the BJJ Hipster has studied the new school of BJJ just so he can say he liked the techniques before they became too mainstream. You will locked down in guards you have never seen before and tapping to pain you never thought you ever felt before.

Spends an hour after Training to Groom Himself to look Disheveled: While others just shower and change  in the locker room and go home, the BJJ Hipster will take his time to groom himself after training to make it appear as if he didn’t shower, change into a fresh set of clothes, or have shelter for the evening.

The BJJ Hipster Will Tell You What He Is Eating After Training: While the Average Joe goes home to a bowl of cereal and a side of sadness after getting roughed up in training, the BJJ Hipster will be dining at either an obscure Bangladesh/Mexican fusion taco truck that only true foodies know about or go into great details about the meal he will make with quinoa and organic ingredients you never knew existed.

 

 

 

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