After any tournament or superfight, it’s only a matter of time before all the competitors start posting about the results of their matches. While it’s refreshing (and thankfully common) to see posts from competitors who accept their losses, thank their opponents, and move on with life, you’re also sure to read posts from defeated fighters like these that never fail to send your eyes rolling.
The Terminator This dude takes every opportunity to let people know that “he’ll be back.” His persistence is admirable, but he also kind of treats it as though he’s the only guy who’s ever competed, lost, and then competed again. You’re always torn between being happy for him that he’s not too devastated, but also wanting to be like, “Chill, dude. It’s just a NAGA.” There’s a line between staying motivated after a loss and making people think you’re actually crying yourself to sleep every night and just trying too hard to hide it, and this guy isn’t shy about crossing it.
Giveaway post: “Didn’t get the result I wanted today, but you’re dead wrong if you think it’s going to be enough to make me quit. I’ll be back in the gym tomorrow grinding as hard as ever. You can knock me down, but you can’t keep me there. I’m coming for that gold medal next year hungrier than I’ve ever been! #CantStopWontStop #HeartOfAChampion”
The Unlucky Duck The odds were stacked against this poor grappler from the beginning, so it makes sense that she’d list everything that went wrong as a reason for her loss. Every past injury suddenly decided to flare up, and the night before she’d been doubled over with a stomach virus, and by the way, her opponent definitely shouldn’t have been in her weight class. She sees herself as the only person who’s ever fought under any type of adversity — the only jiu-jitsu competitor who’s ever had to cut weight or have an injury or compete under any type of disadvantage. And hoo boy, she’s going to let you know it.
Giveaway post: “Well, that old shoulder injury caught up to me at the worst possible moment. I’d never make excuses for myself, but the pain (combined with the fever I’d been battling that day) was just too much to bear, and I came up short yesterday at my tournament. Again, not making excuses, but it didn’t help that I had to cut three pounds (which probably left me at least 30 pounds lighter than my opponent. Weird, but whatever) and my gi wasn’t completely broken in yet. Guess I just wasn’t meant to win this one, guys.”
The Delusionist This poor soul is so determined to believe that his loss was simply a fluke. Even though plenty of people were there to see the match for themselves and there’s almost certainly video of it floating around somewhere on the internet, he’s still going to try to convince you that he was this close to winning before the unthinkable happened. It doesn’t matter that he was down by seven points or that he spent most of the match scrambling to defend himself from his opponent’s submissions; in his mind, he was dominating, and it was the ref’s fault or the universe’s fault that his hand wasn’t raised in the end.
Giveaway post: “I destroyed my opponent for 95 percent of the match, but he got lucky and caught me with an armbar at the last possible second. I tried to make myself look weak and let him get a few points on me just so I could catch him by surprise, but I underestimated just how quick he was. Kudos to him, though. He definitely put up a good fight.”
The Anti-Elsa This guy just can’t let it go. He’s so butthurt about the fact that his opponent subbed him with a wristlock (the nerve of some people) or the ref’s decision (clearly he was biased) that he’s decided to marinade in his own rage over the course of the next two weeks. Even if his anger is justified, most of his Facebook friends had stopped feeling bad for him by day three. But that’s not going to stop him from throwing digital temper tantrums at least once a day until he gets the rematch he believes he’s owed.
Giveaway post: “Here’s my third #TBT of the day to last month when the ref liked my opponent’s rashguard better than mine and gave him the better position to reset in after we rolled out of bounds. Pretty sure he and my opponent are dating and that’s why it happened. I’m totally over it lol but yeah F*CK THAT GUY. THE SYSTEM AND THE WORLD AS A WHOLE ARE RIGGED AGAINST ME.”
The Silent Chatterbox Before the match, this girl was throwing shade like she was an angry oak tree. She trash-talked her opponents at every given opportunity while talking herself up like she was the greatest thing to have ever stepped onto a jiu-jitsu mat. Not a day went by when her followers weren’t subjected to ridiculously long posts proclaiming her greatness while at the same time cutting down the people she was slated to go up against. But when she lost… silence. No Facebook post explaining what happened, certainly no apology to all the people she verbally cut down. She’s just going to go right back to posting her daily gym check-ins in hopes that everyone else will forget that the tournament she was brutally defeated in had ever happened in the first place.
Giveaway post: “Another day, another d’arce choke! #lovemylife #BJJaddict”