13 Thoughts That Go Through Your Head The First Time You Train In A Gi

2036
Photo Source: Issys Calderon Photography

To gi, or not to gi? That is the question. And for many grapplers, the answer is a hard ‘no.’ Lots of jiu-jitsu fighters spend their first few months or even years in the sport training strictly no-gi. But inevitably, one of their gi-loving friends eventually convinces them to try the other side of jiu-jitsu, and it’s… well… an experience. If you’ve ever made that transition, you’ve probably had a few of these thoughts run through your head:

“It’s so hot. Of all the clothing you could wear to roll around on the floor with another person, how did this thing win? I’m tossing out all my winter coats this year and just using this instead.”

“How do you tie this thing? I know you just showed me, but I think I’d have an easier time breaking into a secret bank vault than remembering all those steps. Why doesn’t it just have a buckle like normal belts? Can’t I just tie it like this? Ugh, no, you’re right, that does look ridiculous.”

“Let go of me. Seriously. I can’t move. I know this is ‘part of the game,’ but this game seems like it’s a lot more fun for you than it is for me right now.”

“You’re allowed to do that? You can grab that? And that? And that? I never thought that clothes could be a weapon before, but holy guacamole, was I wrong.”

“I need to work on my cardio. Or maybe I just need to not train in a jacket-shaped bath rug.”

“So. Much. Friction. Remember the good ol’ days when my excessive perspiration allowed me to slide right out of submissions? Alas, those times seem so far gone, I can scarcely remember them.”

“My forearms hurt. My knuckles hurt. My everything hurts. I can’t believe people willingly do this to themselves.”

“Is that a hickey? Nope, just a friendly reminder that someone choked the crap out of me with my own lapel.”

“I know nothing. I am the Jon Snow of jiu-jitsu. I thought I had this stuff down, but now there’s a thing called spider guard and quite honestly, WTF.”

“I kinda wanna choke someone out with their own jacket now. Go on, creepy dude in the trench coat. Pick a fight with me. I know about one and a half techniques that will make you regret having such poor taste in fashion.”

“♫ A whole new world. A dazzling technique I never knew/ But when I’m rolling here/ it’s crystal clear/ that I’m probably going to die today. ♫”

“F$&%. This was a mistake. I’m miserable. I’m never training in pajamas again.”

“…I kind of had fun. Not a lot of fun, so wipe that smug look off your face. Just, you know, enough that I might try this again. Like tomorrow. Maybe the day after that, too.”

Leave a Reply